I have found, time and again, that when things aren’t going to my liking, when my world feels upside-down and there’s nowhere to turn, when there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t feel alone, then usually my prayer life is lacking.
It means that I’ve been trying to run things myself, and that’s always disastrous.
Much of my youth was spent pleasing others, struggling with issues of self-worth, searching for personal acceptance in empty eyes and emptier promises, until all that changed in 1990 when, as a young adult who was sick and tired of being sick and tired, I cried out to God to relieve me of the pain, even if that meant death. I simply couldn’t go on anymore…did not want to go on anymore.
And in that moment, the shackles of heavy burden were loosed.
That’s not to say that I haven’t slapped them back on a time or two since then. Or three. Or three hundred. And each time, after the weight had pulled me down so low that I was coughing dust, did I finally remember to look up.
When I’m trying to run the show—you know, my life—without prayer, I’ve lost my humility. Somewhere along the path I got it into my head that I could do it alone, without God. It wasn’t a conscious decision to do that, mind you, but a revelation I would have after the fact. Wrapped up in all the worldly pleasures and demands, I lost constant contact with Him.
Listening to Christian music helps to keep my line-of-sight heavenward. It provides inspiration and guidance when I feel overwrought and lost, and promises hope and salvation during moments of doubt and insecurity. It reminds me that all my answers can be found in Him.
This is a wonderful music video by Big Daddy Weave called, “Redeemed.” I chose it specifically for the testimony of its lead singer, Mike Weaver, during the first minute-and-a-half, where he ends by saying,
Real humility is simply agreeing with whatever God says about anything. As a child of God, ransomed by the blood of Jesus, He looks at you and says, ‘Redeemed.’
Do yourself a favor and watch the video. Listen to the words. Your day of insecurity may just be redeemed.
This post was written as a part of Alex J. Cavanaugh’s Insecure Writer’s Support Group. We post on the first Wednesday of every month to share our solutions to common difficulties, encourage other writers to meet their insecurities head-on, and seek supportive shoulders to tear-stain when we’ve received one too many rejections. If you’d like to join the group (and we’d love to have you), follow the link to Alex’s site, grab a badge, and add your name to the list. I’ll see you next month!