Another Saturday afternoon taking care of household business—this time, four new tires and a front-end alignment. I can’t effectively write on my work-in-progress here, but I can tell you what it’s like to pull a story out of my…head.
Luckily, Tire Kingdom has wi-fi, so consider this a lazy-day brain-doodle. Simply hit play and read along (it may take a few seconds to buffer):
Cracking the WIP!
(Writin’, writin’, writin’…writin’, writin’, writin’…)
Keep writin’, writin’, writin’,
Though the fish are bitin’,
Keep them thoughts a’heightened
All night!
The pain in your lumbar,
Is hell-bent for slumber.
Wish your tale was cut and dry.
Thinkin’, thinkin’, thinkin’,
Put aside your drinkin’,
Keep them brain cells clinkin’
All night!
And don’t desensitize ’em,
Be pensive an’ surprise ’em
Then you will be living the life.
Move it there, edit that,
Edit that, move it there.
Move it there, edit that
All night (all night).
Cut ’em out, write ’em in,
Write ’em in, cut ’em out,
Cut ’em out, write ’em in
All night!
Here’s all the things it’s missin’:
A hero who don’t listen,
Handmaidens who won’t stand and defy!
“And why the hell’s a zombie
There eating someone’s Mommy?
This tale’s not a horror!” I decry.
Your scattered mind’s all a’flitter,
The whole world is sure to be atwitter,
Atwitter about the masterpiece you scribed.
Double check, triple check, cut that out, cut that out, double check, triple check. NO! It’s crap!
Double check, triple check, cut that out, cut that out, double check, triple check. There! At last it’s done!
(OH NO!)
Revise, revise, revise,
Send it out to fresh eyes
Who do their darnedest to
Scrutinize!
(REWRITE!)
It’s almost done,
The battle almost won
And you’ll ride the publication high.
A New York Times Bestseller!
You’re sure one lucky feller!
All because you stayed up to write!
Movie lights, Hollywood,
Hollywood, movie lights,
Movie lights, Hollywood.
Yeah, right. (That’s right.)
Kill the Bird, Save the Cat,
Coin a word, wave a hat,
Cut ’em out, write ’em in
All night!
Kill the Bird,
Save the Cat,
Coin a word,
Wave a hat,
Cut ’em out,
Write ’em in
All night!
(Let the cat eat the bird and be done!)
Have a great day!
Peace,
ML Swift is a writer of Middle Grade, Young Adult, and Adult fiction, although he dabbles in many genres.
An Alzheimer’s caregiver for the past ten years, he has published several articles on The Alzheimer’s Reading Room, the largest online website catering to that community, and plans to write a novel about his experience in caregiving.
He resides in Florida with his dogs, Rameses and Buster, attempting to reclaim his side of the bed.
Music: “Rawhide – Theme (Instrumental)” from The Alamo – Dimitri Tiomkin – The Essential Film Music Collection by The City Of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra. Released: 2004. Track 9 of 15. Genre: Soundtracks.
M.L. Swift, Writer 
That was funny. Think it hit upon everything.
Glad you enjoyed it, Alex. I tried to show “the process” as best I could with the perimeters of the song. Good to see you…I’ve been taking it easy lately. Much other stuff happening.
ROFL! Love it!
Always good to see you, Rebecca! I just felt silly and stranded today, and the combination was lethal!
Lethal. . . or inspiring. Boredom is the mother of invention?
Move over necessity, invention has a new Daddy…er, Mother.
I loved this and the new look! You crack me up. Write like the wind, Mike.
This new look is for a new me. Clean, crisp. simple, very Hemingway. And every time I write I get winded. 😉
Brilliant! Don’t lose your sense of humor, ever.
I have a back-up funny bone for just such occasion:
Readin’ and singin’ and chucklin’ all the way gave me a good dose of saddle sore.
You must have had the horse with the trots.
Swifty,
Like Big Joe said, it has a cowboy feel to it. Makes me think of Blazing Saddles I say we should give em the old number six.
What’s that you say? “That’s where we going into town a whipping and a whooping scaring every living thing within a inch of its life.”
But since I am in Memphis tonight doing some training and it seems like most of the band is here, I feel like taking the suggestion from the Blues Brothers. We need to find Erica and get the band back together.
I imagine it would go like this:
“Hey Erica, we’re getting the band back to together. We need to raise 5,000 dollars for the penguin.” Rob said.
“Forget it. No way!” Erica said before closing the door.
“We’re on a mission from God.” Julie replied blocking the door from closing.
“We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.” Joe offered.
“What are you doing here?” Erica demanded.
“You said that you would visit the Penguin when you got out of the pen.” Swift said.
“I lied.” Erica responded.
“You can’t lie to a Nun. She is being hassled by Illinois Nazis.” Swifty retorted.
“I hate Illinois Nazis. I is 24,000 miles to Chicago, we have half a tank of gas, a full pack of cigarettes, it is dark and we are wearing sunglasses. Hit it!” Erica said walking out the door.
Rob, you silly man. That was excellent! I guess today is the day for silly! Here you go, buddy:
[youtube.com/watch?v=RdR6MN2jKYs]
Swifty,
Now that is good fun/ What a great movie, I am going to have to netflix it soon.
Love this exchange. “Hey man, the lights are off.”
“Think they blew a fuse?”
“Naw, man. Those lights are off on purpose.”
That is a great example of character writing.
🙂
Thanks for the laughs and wit.
Toi,
Thanks for coming by and commenting! Glad you enjoyed it…just scribbling the day away.
I was wondering…do you work with a fellow writer to cross edit? What genre/trope is your current WIP?
– Mac
My current WIP has a thriller/suspense feel to it. I’ll email you. 🙂
You had me at Tire Kingdom. LOL
Love this, Michael. Thanks for posting. 🙂
Melissa,
They told me at Tire Kingdom I’ve been cruising around unbalanced. And they said my truck needed alignment, too. 😉
Fun! Well done. 🙂
Denise!
What a pleasant surprise to come in and see you here. Thanks for dropping by (and you’re welcome anytime). Glad my ramblings roped your funny bone.
You? A ham? I dunno, Mike, I just don’t see it…
LOL!
This was great. The melody has just the right manic tone to it, too. So glad to see this post – I miss you when you don’t blog! NO guilt, though. You are totally allowed to take time off, especially if you post awesome stuff like this when you come back!!!
And since I was born in Lynchburg, that makes me a Virginia Ham.
Really been super busy…planning to write a post soon of what’s been happening.
And yeah, the music’s escalation was perfect for the frenzied way we get. 🙂
This was super cute, Mike. I’m glad Tire Kingdom had wifi so you could strike while the inspiration iron was hot! 😀
I knew I’d have a couple hours to wait…called ahead and made sure they had it! Thanks for coming by and commenting, Suze. Always a pleasure.
lol, so funny. Do we share a brain? Coz that’s what my brain sounds like too.
Kindred spirits, Lyn. 🙂
Awesome. This cracked me up! After about 9pm, my brain turns to mush, so I just go to bed and start at it again the next morning, bright and early!
That’s it, Stephie…keep writin’, writin’, writin’, no matter what the time of day. Good to see you again. 🙂
This was BRILLIANT!
(Dang thing posted before I was ready!)
Anyhow, people don’t realize how hard it is to get poetry to rhyme to begin with, and making it all make sense and be funny on top of that is SO impressive! Thanks so much for putting a big smile on my face!! 😀
Lexa…you’ve left me dumbstruck. So dumbstruck, I almost spelled it dubstuk. Thank you for the kind words and super compliment—they meant the world. Glad you liked it. 😀
You made me chuckle. This was funny, mostly with that music. Hope you ride into the sunset with your story, hahaha. Dragon Hugs!
Ride ’em cowboy! Glad you liked it, Al, and as always, it’s good to see you. Hope all is well.
Hahahaha… Swift, your enthusiasm is contagious… 🙂
This was pretty much AWESOME.
And I want to thank you for your kind words today. They certainly mean a lot and I’m so glad to call you a friend. Thank you. 🙂
A little penicillin will clear that right up.
And thanks…you’re pretty much awesome, too. 🙂
HAHAHAHAHA!! OH MY GOODNESS!
Dude, that was great! It really warranted the all caps and extra exclamation points. And the “dude” too. I loved it.
Oh, and I think the glowy blog header looks great!
Thanks, Loni, for coming by, commenting, and the nice words.
And when the punctuation’s needed, I say use it! 🙂
Hey dude,
Yes, finally, I’ve arrived with one of my eagerly anticipated comments. Yay!
Such prose, you knows
The words do flows
Kinda like Dr. Seuss
On the loose
Editing blues
We do not choose
Revise
He cries
No surprise
Well done, you
This be true
Gary, Gary
How very scary 🙂
I knew I could count on you for good verse, Gary! Thanks for coming by…and I noticed they’re removing the spikes in UK. See? It’s folks like you…if each of us do our own little part, we can move mountains.
Men’s household chores are so different than women’s. However, I often pick places for car service based on their WIFi connection. 🙂
Lovely poem. It’s right up there with Keats, but much more appropriate for tires and writing while waiting.
Ahhhh….Keats. Such a Bright Star! And I, nothing but High Beams.
This is one of my all-time favorites:
WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,
Before high pil`d books, in charact’ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain;
When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And feel that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think,
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.
Thanks for coming by, Lee.
And then there is this thing called life
That mixes in some ugly strife
And what can we do but fight and fight?!
So with keypad we get to it
And write all the way through it
Whether it’s a hit or putrid sh….I mean, alright!
Weeee juuuuust keeeepp ooonnnn….
Writing, writing, writing
And fighting, fighting, fighting
And know that with cocoa, we’ll hold tight.
Cuz all we write will be alright
And we’ll conquer all sorts of plight
And day will come after the night
I love you, Mike
T’wil be alright.
I’ll end this now
Much more to write.
Get loads of sleep.
I’ll say goodnight.
Such sweet sentiments. Thanks, doll. I’ll have to print, cut, and paste in your book. 🙂
Thanks again. ❤
This brought sunshine to my day last week when I first read and listened to the audio. I’ve been meaning to get back over here to leave a comment about it, but have been swamped and let it slip my mind. This post is truly confirmation of your creative talents. You have a gift, Mike Swift, why aren’t you showing it to the world? I’ve been a fan of your work (and your humor) since the first day I happened upon your blog a few years ago. What the hell are you waiting for? Go into the world and let your light shine.
This post is hilarious and genius! Thanks for shining your light on me. 🙂
Well hey, Dee! Good to see you as always. Looks like we’ve both had full plates.
To be honest, and I’m working on a post about this, but Mom’s passing did a pretty big number on me and I shut down as much as I could possibly get away with, without closing off totally. I was uninspired. I hurt and had to lick wounds. I really didn’t want to participate in life, but had to. “They” say that writers work through these painful moments by writing, and in the past I did, but with this, I couldn’t. I didn’t even have the enthusiasm or strength or wherewithal to raise my hands to the keyboard.
But time does indeed heal deep wounds. That’s not to say I’m over things, but am able to think and focus again. There were many other difficulties that played into the past year which didn’t help matters, but now that my intense grief period is over, they are easier to address, too.
The world will see my “light.” Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂