Well, the moment has finally arrived…The Day the Blogfests Stood Still. The day I became an anarchist and topped the NSA’s list of most dangerous bloggers. The day that Gary Philip Pennick demanded that we not pay attention to him by paying attention to him and throwing a blogfest—but not really a blogfest—an Anti-blogfest. For a list of all the participants, go HERE.
These are blogfests that you wouldn’t want to attend, but somehow one of your friends peer-pressured you into signing up for them anyway:
- The Dead Cat Blogfest: Best uses for a dead cat. Post some of these on Facebook for a change!
- The Warts and All Blogfest: Share the love and show off those disgusting growths that the human body is famous for. We’ll still follow you (NOT).
And one more disgusting “share” for the Warts and All Blogfest. WARNING: Not for the squeamish.
And last, but not least:
- The Speed Dating Blogfest: Forget about eHarmony, Match.com, and Christian Mingle! We have our own Date-a-Blogger Blogfest. Spend ten seconds with each blogger on the link list…read their posts, check out their pictures, and make comments. By the end of an hour, a love connection will have been made. It’s all scientific.
This is what you’re looking for (one or the other…or perhaps both):
This is what you get:
And there’s my contribution to the Blogfests that you MUST join if you want to be a somebody in this world of writing. I’ll be holding a spot for you in all of them.
Peace,
ML Swift
Photo Credits (via Photopin):
Handsome Man: Khuzul (Alessandro Petri); Biker Chick: Eyesplash; Dead Cat w/ sign: daveynin; Flying Cat: Pieter Musterd; Gross!: mrd00dman; Frog: MaryScheirer
M.L. Swift, Writer 
Mike, those are awesome! You’re right, I wouldn’t participate in any of those. Not even the dead cat one.
Nor I, Alex, and the dead cat one was very tempting.
This was FUN! Thanks to all of you folks for throwing it together. I needed some fun right now.
That was hilarious!
Thanks, Grace, and I appreciate your coming by! Stop by anytime.
Very funny and gross!
Oh goodness, Julie. I watched that video somewhere before, so I knew there was one out there (there are TONS of them). I watched the first few seconds to make sure it was gross enough. I had to shut it off…it was.
Less funny and more gross. Now I know what my wife wakes up too every morning. I didn’t think it looked that bad in the mirror.
So…we’ll see your name on the Linky List?
Ah, gag. I’ve seen that video before, so didn’t have to torture myself again. Those are some seriously wrong blogfests that I’m glad don’t acutally exist. This post had me rolling. Heheheh!
Gag is right, Sabrina.
I had seen the video before, too, so I was familiar enough with it to know it was the right one. But I did check to make sure. The first squirt spoke volumes.
Thanks for coming by!
Laughing so hard right now. This is genius!
Glad you liked it Jennie. And congrats on your 5th book! I saw that the other day in passing. 🙂
Ugh! *laughs* Too funny! Sometimes it seems that there is a blog fest for anything and everything under the sun. Thankfully I don’t have that kind of time to visit them all. 😉
Have a great week!
-Jimmy
You too, Jimmy. Hey…could you leave a link to your blog (if you come back and see this?). You’ve visited before and I could never find you.
I hope Ghosts is doing well. I rarely have time to do blogfests, although they are a great diversion at times. Mindless and easy. I mainly do the support group once a month and my book club.
Sure thing. Thanks for asking. I usually do, but then sometimes I feel it’s bad form, you know. Like I’m only visiting to get visitors.
-Jimmy
http://jamesgarciajr.blogspot.com/
Don’t sweat that, Jimmy. The whole thing about the online world is being connected. Sometimes the link with the name takes me to gravatar or google or twitter or facebook. Leaving a link tells me exactly where I need to go. I always leave one when I’m commenting on blogger.
Thanks!
I almost did best uses for a dead cat blogfest! I kept thinking of that book, 101 Uses For a Dead Cat.
Yes…I loved that book and it influenced my idea. Thanks for stopping by, Diane.
Haha, yep, I’d be skipping all of those….some of the scariest I’ve seen, yet 🙂
I’ve seen another video like the giant cyst bursting…..I guess it’s a ‘thing’ on YouTube or something….. -shivers- lol.
There are tons of them, Mark. It’s disgusting. I couldn’t eat mashed potatoes for a year.
OH my gosh… Swift, too FUNNY…
That speed dating one is KILLING me… can you imagine? Awful! And dead cats? Warts? Ewwwwww… You couldn’t pay me to participate!
I would possibly do the dead cat one! Thanks, Morgan.
HA! That last one is too funny. And the middle one—Ewwwwwwww! The first though, had me thinking of the poor little Norwegian Blue, pining for the fjords…
I do what I can, Hart. 🙂
Hilarious and icky! I definitely wouldn’t participate in any of those, but your descriptions are funny! 🙂
I tried not to get too gross. 😉
Aha, dude. I absolutely hate blogfests, blog hops, alphabet challenges that have reflection posts about reflection posts. Blog tours, cover reveals, interviews, blah..blah and blah!
Me, wanting attention through the irony of ironies blogfest or anti-blogfest? Not me, no way, not ever. I can be ever so slightly cynical about all these gosh darn fun contests. I might say that people create them to draw attention to themselves and get more followers. Of course, we *cough* *cough* understand it’s all about the ethos of a sharing, caring blogging community. Then I woke up….
I would actually join all three of your blogfests that shouldn’t be joined. Which makes me a contradictory anarchist. I wont mention, again, that I already satirised such an event before the event was even created. Yay me! 🙂
I shall be participating in the “Great Posting! Thanks for sharing!” blogfest. And in the spirit of drive-by bloggers, I’m going now.
Thanks for having a bit of fun or non-fun. Be well, because I really care.
Gary 🙂
Yeah, this was a satirical look at the blogfests. I usually don’t have the time, if they’re involved or too many in a row, but Alex and the gang will throw a simple one right when I need a good diversion.
I pretty much stick to the groups…IWSG and PBC.
I hope you took this post as the good-natured ribbing it was. I think we’ve exchanged wits on FB enough that you know my sense of humor—which is warped!
Mike, you need not say more. You’ve outdone yourself with this one. Oh my, I’m laughing at every aspect of it, except the arm pits.
Darn. If I can’t find that novelist with a big bookmark in blogland, I guess I need to go to Barnes & Noble .
Thanks for adding this wonderfully creative and silly contribution to the fest.
xoRobyn
This was fun, Robyn. Thanks to you and the others for throwing it.
XO back!
Nice titles do they go all the way up to your index?
Those titles would poke an eye out.
Hey Mike,
Dude I held it all together until I saw WHO was under the Big Bookmark Bloke and I cackled out loud, which was embarrassing when one is sitting alone in a McDonalds (blatantly using their free WiFi and drinking coffee brought from home 🙂
Then my job here is done. 😉
Oh man, you couldn’t pay me to watch that cyst video, I’m way to squeamish. Thanks for helping us celebrate Gary!
Tina @ Life is Good
I admire anyone who dares hit play on that video. I only watched the first few seconds of it to make sure it lived up to the gross aspect I was looking for. It did.
Thanks for coming by, Tina, and for co-hosting this fest. Or non-fest, as the case may be.
Okay, I could probably do the speed dating one! And the dead cat one is just so hilarious. Love it… though I may have lost some respect for you, for the speed dating one. 🙂
Yikes! I lost some points with the speed dating one? I thought surely it would be due to the Warts and All one, if any. Thanks for coming by, Nancy. I saw you on the list…need to come by. I was trying to hit some of the ones I’ve never visited. Thanks for your comment!
I’m SO glad that video didn’t auto-play. EW EW EW EW EW.
The speed dating one is definitely to be avoided for me.
I liked the dead cat one the best…that is actually a fest I would participate in. Thanks, Trisha. 🙂
I think I’ve been on that date… there may have been a cyst involved too… and a dead cat. Yep, that was one of the better ones.
That was one of your better dates? It’s that rough outback territory, I tell you. Makes for some hardened folk.
Thanks for stopping, Charmaine. 🙂
Well, crapola. If I have to participate in those blogfests to be a Somebody in the blogosphere, I reckon I’ll just have to resign myself to remaining a nobody. (sigh) I never get to play with the cool kids…
Good ones! (Which of course means they’re actually horrid?)
“I coulda been somebody…I coulda been a contender…but everytime I tried to get out, they pulled me back in!”
You can sit at my lunch table. 🙂 Thanks for coming by, Susan.
“Eeeewwwww, gross!” she exclaimed between gags and snorts of laughter.
Very funny, Mike. 😛
I think I’ll send you a box of Snickers for your birthday…or Christmas, whichever comes first. I love how you express yourself in your comments. 😀
Gross, but very funny! The dead cat will go over so well on “Farcebook.”
We have to set up a blitzkrieg of dead cat memes for farcebook…really inundate the place with them. It may make a point and get all the cutesy ones off. Plus, if done well, would be funny as heck. We’d trend.
I made the mistake of watching that video. I couldn’t help it. It had a warning… gah! 😉
It was like a reality show, Lyn. You didn’t want to watch, but once it was on, you couldn’t take your eyes off it! I ended up going back and watching about a minute and a half of it…which left three minutes. Three more minutes? It looked like he was “on empty” when I stopped. How much more could have been in there?
Thanks for coming by!
Eeeewwwwww!!! And also, BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
These are fantastic. And revolting. And altogether just FUN, which is a nice break as I troll around the interwebs and procrastinate. Thanks 🙂
It’s all about having fun, even during the “work,” and it’s a blessing that I’m able to do something I truly love as an occupation. Sometimes it’s crazy, sometimes it’s a breeze, but then again, so am I—an easy-going guy who’s a titch mental. 🙂
Thanks for coming by (and for putting me on your blogroll). I use bloglovin’ because WordPress doesn’t allow blogrolls.
🙂
Hey, thanks so much! I’m figuring out this new-fangled follow stuff, too. Thanks for your help – and your blog is great 🙂
If you need any suggestions, feel free to ask.
Your suggestions are amazing and I am open to any and all of them. I’m here to learn – thank you for teaching!!
🙂 Anytime.
Hah! Perfect use of images. 🙂
Thanks, Carrie—I like to find the good ones. And thanks for swinging by!
Eek! I’m NOT watching that video!! *shudder*
And I’m not joining up for those either – great ideas! 🙂
You had some good ones, too, Jemi. But I do like pickles. 🙂 Thanks for coming over and for joining in on the fest.