Dave Barry Learns Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From Reading 50 Shades of Grey

In a hilarious attempt to understand women, Dave Barry, one of my contemporary literary heroes, actually read E.L. James’s Fifty Shades of Grey and shared his thoughts in Time Magazine online. I bet Anastasia’s inner goddess wishes she had a ball-gag about now. Enjoy the review; I’m sure it’s more entertaining than the book.

TIME

So I read Fifty Shades of Grey. This is the book written by female British author “E. L. James” that became a huge bestseller, devoured by pretty much every woman on Earth except my wife (or so she claims).

I think I might be the only man who read this book. I did it sneakily, hiding the cover, especially when I was on an airplane, which actually is a good place to read this book because you have access to a barf bag. I say this because of the writing style, which is . . . OK, here’s one tiny sample of the writing style:

“Did you give him our address?”
“No, but stalking is one of his specialties,” I muse matter-of-factly.
Kate’s brow knits further.

That’s right: This is the kind of a book where, instead of saying things, characters muse them, and they are somehow able to…

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12 thoughts on “Dave Barry Learns Everything You Need to Know About Being a Husband From Reading 50 Shades of Grey

  1. Author Jessica Trapp commented on Facebook that she took her husband to see the movie in hopes he would get some ideas. But he still hasn’t bought her a car. 😛

    I read the trilogy. Yes, some of it is lame, and the whole thing could use a good trim- esp. book 3, and some of the sex is, well, way out there. The thing that I thought the author did well was slowly dig deeper into each character and show the development of the relationship between the leads. Also, who isn’t a sucker for a wounded hero- physical or otherwise? (maybe that’s a girl thing) Anyhow, my point is, some of us gals are drawn in by aspects other than (just) the sex. 😉

    1. Hey Melissa,

      Admittedly, I have not read the book, but have not been impressed with the excerpts I’ve read. Granted, they represent a small portion of a–what is it? 500 pages?–novel, but if they’re indicative of the style of writing, then it’s not a book that I think I’d enjoy. However, that being said, I feel the need to read at least the first one, just to see what I’m missing. Who knows? I may learn a thing or two. Good to see you…tell Jessica keep working on the car. 😉

  2. Maybe I’m the only woman on planet earth who hasn’t read this book or seen the movie. Now, I’m beginning to understand why. I don’t do barf very well. And I don’t suffer dialog that requires editing in a published book. However, I’m so glad you underwent the experience and shared it with us today. I always appreciate sacrifice for others.

    1. I’ll let him know next time we have lunch. 😉 Yeah, there are way too many good books out there to waste time on stuff that still needs an edit (or two or three) after publication. Life’s too short. Thanks for visiting, Lee.

  3. Ha! As a woman, I’m still trying to figure out what all the hype is about over this trilogy. I don’t see why people (women) think it’s so great, which means at any given moment my membership card in the “I am woman” club may get revoked. Darn it! And I love being a woman. 🙂

    1. I hope they have it in the library; I hate to buy it, but really want to see what the hype is about. I didn’t care for the prose that Dave cited in his article, which seems to be throughout the book, but chalk another reading up to my insatiable curiosity. Let’s hope it doesn’t kill this cat. Good to see you, Dee.

  4. I know, I’m just silly-late reading this; I’m sorry! Totally hilarious. I love Dave Barry! I read the whole thing and laughed all the way, just as EL James is laughing all the way to the bank. Sigh. I tried to read the book; I thought, so many women love it, I really should see what all the fuss is about. I got about 50 pages into it before I couldn’t stand it anymore. The writing is AWFUL. Isn’t that depressing? That a book can be so popular and be so badly written? I guess I’m just too snobby: if I’m going to read erotica, it really has to be well-written 🙂

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